I began dancing when I was a young girl. I grew up in a house in the woods outside of Brooksville, FL and I began my ballet training in the nearby town of Dade City at Sally Blackwood’s Studio of Dance (still there, by the way, and still an amazing studio). My classes were held for many years in these un-airconditioned old houses that had been turned into studio spaces with mirrors and ballet barres and occasionally a plug in box fan at one end of the dance floor. Even in the summertime, Ms. Sally would chastise us if we stood too long at the fan… she didn’t want our muscles to get cold; the recipe for a strain or tear.
When I was in high school I continued to dance; ballet, pointe, jazz and modern sometimes, and my high school Dancerette team. High school was challenging for me in my head much of the time; yet dancing, whether at my studio classes, or with my dance team; was my joy. So many of my positive high school memories revolve around that group of amazing girls, now women, and my instructors, sponsors and mentors.
For a brief moment I thought to continue in dance for a career, and toyed with auditioning for the Dance Program at Florida State University. I did not. I lacked the confidence in my dancing at the time, and decided to follow another path. I continued to take ballet classes though at FSU as a non-major. One day one of my instructors told me if I wanted to keep going with those classes, I needed to audition and declare it my major. At that point I was on track for an entirely different career and had settled into my third and last major of Social Work.
So I hung up my ballet shoes and stopped dancing at about 20 years old. I went to see a showing of The Nutcracker that Christmas and sat in the audience bawling my eyes out because I was not in pointe shoes anymore; not moving. It was a visceral response that I still remember as I sit here today. I could cry again.
A few years later I ended up in South Florida, no longer formally dancing, but I couldn’t stop myself from moving. I found people to teach me the basics of salsa and merengue. I loved the freedom of the movement and the joy of the dance. For the next few years I dabbled in all kinds of ballroom dancing and went out to salsa clubs any chance I could get.
By this time I was running for exercise and had found yoga. I loved the grace of yoga asana; it reminded me a ton of ballet. I had a YMCA membership and 2 little, little boys and this cool yoga instructor I had began teaching a class she called Belly Beautiful. It was a combo of core exercises and Bellydance. Oh my goodness I was in love!
The movements of Bellydance were like turning ballet on its head! Everything that I was supposed to hold tight in ballet, I was to let go in bellydance. Thus began my love affair with Middle Eastern dance- Turkish, Egyptian, Persian, fusion styles, and tribal… most of the time I didn’t even know what I was learning, I just knew I loved it.
Today I am immersed mostly in the art of Egyptian style bellydance with an amazing instructor (Taliah at Hipnique Studio in Tarpon Springs). I teach my own classes now; yoga and pilates style classes for many years, and bellydance and bellydance fusion classes for a few.
I looked around the other night at the women of all ages, sizes and backgrounds in this class, and I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry tears of joy this time; because I had found my way back home. To a home that is populated with other women who love and appreciate the benefits of movement, and training your body, and expressing yourself. A home where love for each other, and encouragement abounds.
I thought about the “real-life” traumas and dramas that have faded away the moment I begin to dance. I am transported to a place that is pure beauty, and I hope to convey that in the times I get to express myself through this art form.
The art of dance and movement is my life. I laugh when I think about “quitting dance” back in the 90’s… As if I could ever actually quit something that is my air, my prana, my being. Dancing for my life; it is just the way I Be.