So when your child says “But Mom, I can’t make you ride the bike for 4 hours!!!”, you have an epiphany….
This is not what I planned! Another of those moments where you say to yourself- “I thought I had it all worked out. I thought I would have children who begged to enter the science fair. I thought I would have children who were gung-ho for school work. What happened here???!” So before I caught myself saying “back when I was a kid… my parents sat on my head until I finished my science fair project”; I stopped and said, “what is it you need to do before tomorrow when your science project is due?”. I did not realize that it would entail over an hour of riding my bike at warp speed, with intermittent periods where I must deep breathe to slow my heart beat so I could ride again (good thing I practice yoga), all to show that “activity accelerates my heartrate”.
So this was to be a lesson in procrastination vs. getting it done. I think procrastination won out this time.
Sometimes I wonder if I can hold the line long enough to incur an actual change in my kids. Then I realize that they are already changing, and they are already good.
There was a moment in my riding blindly in the dark to finish my last “trial” for my son’s project, that I recognized that these are the times that we can abhor or we can cherish.
Tonight I got to spend two hours with my sons, riding my bike, feeling the wind on my face, seeing the sunset on a retention pond, listening to my 5 year old’s visions, watching my 8 year old document our progress, and just being one with the pre-dusk light.
That is a blessing.
That is a beautiful moment.
That is a lesson for me, not for them, of how things can settle into a moment of peace and joy before we even know it. It is life. It is love. It is an expression of this time.
Thank you boys for the wisdom you lend to my life.
I am blessed and it is done, it is done, it is done. Amen… and Whew!