So, I decided to purchase a white faux leather futon, truly it is off-white, but either way…  I purchased it.  It was a Christmas present to myself and my boys.  I figured it would be welcomed as we didn’t have a couch in our family room, just a very old (but comfy chair) and a repurposed outdoor wicker number.  So I rearranged my living room, got rid of more items, and readied myself for the first piece of new furniture in at least 6 years.

On a side note- I must tell you, I am obsessed with the color white. I have a whole section of my color coordinated closet dedicated to white shirts.  I love  bright white, off-white, yellowy-white, any shade or hue of white.  The first couch I ever purchased in 1997 was off-white, and I used it until it was passed on in the summer of 2010.

So, back to now…. I get the email that my purchase is in.  I was thrilled.  Of course, I couldn’t fit the futon in my car, so I texted my friend with an SUV to help.  We get to the store and find that it barely fits in her back trunk.  It actually hangs out the back window slightly, but no worries- we get it home safe and sound.  We manage to haul it upstairs; all 120 pounds of it and push it in my front door, leaning it up against the wall where it will be assembled later tonight.  For some reason at this point I think that my kids will be excited about this new purchase.  My normally keen sense of intuition did not warn me the reaction to come.

I went about my Friday errands and fun, and picked the boys up from school.  We walked home, and they saw the giant box against the wall.  They of course want to know what it is. Initially I say, “wait until morning and you will see”.  This elicits whining from my 8-year old who hates surprises and a pouty lip from my 5 year old, ( BTW-he did make it to 5)!  So I say with great zeal, “ok, we will open it now, you will be soooo excited.  It’s a gift for all of us.”  I crack open the box, the 5-year old helping all the way; and then much to my surprise there is silence. And then tears.  And then downcast faces.  But I don’t let this get me down; I know they will love it once it is put together.

So we go out to rent a movie for Friday Movie Night, and return home.  As they watch the movie and sip on hot chocolate, I assemble the futon with the help of a friend.  It goes together relatively easily, and I am pleasantly surprised that the faux leather looks fairly chic in the off-white color.  “Hmmm, not too bad”, I think to myself.  I stand back and admire and move things around through the night to make the room look just right!

The next morning I wake up and my 8-year old is eating left-over candy cane on the new off-white pleather futon.  Deep breaths- “Please get off the new couch with candy cane.  And why are you eating candy cane at 7:30 in the morning!!??”.  As the day wore on I removed a navy blue Sharpie marker from the 5-year old’s hands just before contact was made with the off-white faux leather futon.  Whew, disaster averted, I was delighted.  We reviewed the rules of the new couch to avoid further tragedy, and of course everyone understood the rules. Well, my delight lasted not quite 24- hours.  As I look over from my creative floor position while typing an article, I see my 8-year old reading his new magazine and casually and absent-mindedly drawing in blue ink pen on the new off-white pleather couch!

I deep breath again and say “Get off the couch and hand over the pen!”  He begins crying and runs off to his room.  I scream to his retreating figure “Get back here and fix what you have done!”  He returns angrily and we discuss the fact that between he and his brother 4 items in our home have been physically destroyed in the past week.  I then tell him to go to the cleaning product cabinet and read off the labels.  Luckily, I still have some bathtub cleaner with bleach (not a very green item I know), and it does the trick.  So while we waited for the bleach to remove the ink from the off-white pleather, amends were made. I remind them I love them more than any new futon.  Truly more than anyone on the face of this earth at this point in my life.

I am reminded that while it is important not to get too attached  to Things, it is nice to occasionally have new, child-resistant ones! Oh, who knew the benefits of pleather.  Truly the fabric for “boy moms” everywhere!!!